Butterflies Don’t Mean Stop
I keep thinking about something this week, and I’d like to share it with you.
Now that I’m done writing the manuscript for my forthcoming book, I’ve noticed butterflies in my stomach.
Not because I’m excited. But because I’m nervous.
Even though I write two newsletters a week and post every single day on LinkedIn, I’ve never gotten comfortable with vulnerably putting myself out there.
Frankly, there are many moments where I feel like a no-talent, ass clown whose work isn’t interesting or relevant.
And this brings me to what I’ve been thinking about:
Vulnerability is the true path forward, if we want to design a life we’re in love with.
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Here’s what I’ve noticed over the years, both in my own life and in coaching hundreds of clients through major transitions:
The butterflies don’t lie.
That nervous, exposed, slightly-nauseated feeling we get when we’re about to share something that matters? It’s not a warning to stop. It’s a signal that we’re pointed in the right direction.
Think about it. We don’t feel vulnerable about things we don’t care about. We feel vulnerable about the relationship we want to deepen. The career move that would actually fulfill us. The creative project we’ve been sitting on for years.
The butterflies are a compass.
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I’ll give you an example from my own life. One I’ve been scared to share.
While I’m shopping my manuscript to literary agents (a vulnerable act in itself), I’ve decided to occupy myself with something I’ve always wanted to do.
Write a screenplay.
There. I said it.
I’ve been afraid to even mention this to friends and people I love. Because I can already hear the responses:
“Always has his head in the clouds.”
“What makes you think you’d ever make it in Hollywood?”
“Isn’t that a little... unrealistic?”
And here’s the thing… those voices aren’t just external. They’re in my head too. They’re loud. They’re persistent. And they’ve kept this dream locked in a drawer for a long time.
But recently I asked myself a different question:
What if it actually works?
Not “What if I fail?” We ask ourselves that one constantly.
But what if the screenplay gets made? What if it finds an interested audience? What if the thing I’ve been too scared to try becomes the thing I’m most proud of?
Can you imagine how gratifying that might be?
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I think most of us are walking around with a version of this.
A secret ambition we haven’t spoken out loud. A project that feels too big or too silly or too vulnerable to name. Something we’d pursue in a heartbeat if we weren’t so worried about what people might think.
And so we stay quiet. We stay safe. We keep the butterflies at bay by never giving them a reason to show up.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
The things that make us most nervous are usually the things most worth doing.
It shows us where our heart is pointing, even when our head is screaming to play it safe.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s information.
And if we’re brave enough to follow it, we get one step closer to everything we want.
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Try this:
Identify one thing you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t told anyone about. Maybe it’s a career shift. A creative project. A conversation you’ve been avoiding. A dream that feels too fragile to say out loud.
Now tell one person.
There’s something powerful that happens when we take an unspoken desire and give it oxygen. It becomes real in a way it wasn’t before. And suddenly, we have someone in our corner. Someone who knows what we’re reaching for and can ask us how it’s going.
The butterflies might not go away. But at least you won’t be carrying them alone.
Your coach,
Chris
P.S. If you want, you can tell me. Drop it in the comments below and share the thing you’ve been sitting on. I won’t judge. I won’t give unsolicited advice. I’ll just be glad you said it out loud.
